


A Curse to Remember Where Others Forget

by Lordly_Serypheites



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Canon Gay Character, Canon Gay Relationship, Fluff and Angst, For the record this wasnt my idea, Glad this is the first thing i publish goddammit, I got peer pressured into it, If taz has broken you in all ways clap your hands, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Its bad guys, Lookin at you el and alex, Love my gays, M/M, Suicide, Well okay it was a little
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-23 00:54:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10708755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lordly_Serypheites/pseuds/Lordly_Serypheites
Summary: The ghost of a past, fears of the present, and hope for a future.Kravitz thought he'd never tell.





	A Curse to Remember Where Others Forget

It was a quiet night at the Bureau of Balance. Merle and Magnus had found themselves kicked out of the suite for the night by Taako, who apparently had some sort of hot date coming over. And a hot date indeed. Kravitz stepped through a rip in the ether at 6 o'clock sharp, meeting his boyfriend with a kiss and an embrace. It was in a line of many such dates, helping Kravitz get used to the space, and helping Taako get more used to cooking. It was a nice routine they had.  
This night however, was a slight bit different. Kravitz stepped through the portal a little more ragged than usual. His boyfriend noticed right away, as if he’d rolled a nat 20 on the perception check, and over dinner asked what was up. Krav confessed to having a rough week at work, chasing down a notorious ring of necromancers that were just a pain in his ass like no other.  
To which Taako replied “Not even me? Man I’ve gotta step up my game.” Kravitz laughed a hearty, genuine laugh, and suddenly, everything was right in the world.  
The date went flawlessly as they always did, the two basking in each other’s presence as if they were the only couple on the moon. It was towards the end of dinner, after a delicious dessert of creme brulee.  
“So…” Taako began, setting down his silverware and sending a look across the table. “You seem pretty tired. I just wanna let you know… You are welcome to stay over.”  
Kravitz looked up with a start, only able to meet the elf’s eyes for a moment before looking away, clearly embarrassed. “My! I- Uh-”  
“If you don’t want to that’s fine-”  
“No no no! I’d- I’d love to- I mean-” the reaper cleared his throat looked at Taako. “I wouldn’t want to impose- and- I’m sorry are you implying something here? Because you have to- uh- just tell me this kind of stuff.”  
It was Taako’s turn to jump, realizing how his offer could be interpreted. “Oh! Oh my god! No! To sleep! Unless- I mean- I’m not opposed to that- but you seem super tired. I figured you’d like to maybe, I don’t know, watch a movie and stay over tonight.”  
The pair was silent a moment, neither making eye contact. But the magnetism was too much, and their eyes met again, and both burst out laughing. Another few minutes went by, just of them cracking up, before Kravitz laid his hand on Taako’s and said with a smile, “I’d love to stay.”

After completing the surprisingly difficult task of finding the reaper pajamas to wear, with no shortage of “Unless you sleep in the nude ;)” jokes, (leaving him an embarrassed mess), the pair settled on the couch in a veritable nest of pillows and blankets. (He ended up having to borrow t-shirt and sweatpants from Magnus, which Taako assured him would be fine)  
They spent another 20 minutes or so skimming through fantasy netflix, bickering about what to watch. They finally settled on the all time classic, the Princess Bride. However, it didn’t really matter in the end, because Kravitz was asleep by the time the title showed up onscreen. Taako took a minute to drink in every detail of his boyfriend’s gorgeous face, relishing the moment. Yet despite his best efforts, it wasn’t long before exhaustion took him as well. 

A cliff overlooking a choppy grey sea. The dismal clouds hanging low, suffocating the world. The air was thin and stale, just like he remembered it. The earth beneath him seemed to shift and churn as he walked upon it. It was dizzying. But that wasn’t what was making him nauseous.  
He had relived this scene enough times to know exactly what was to come. He wanted to shout to the young man sitting on the edge to back up, to rethink this. To think of his siblings. But he knew he couldn’t. He was helpless, ironically reminiscent of what he was feeling in this exact moment, sitting on the edge of this cliff. A cold wind blew through, but only one of them could feel it. The man on the cliff stood up, and Kravitz’s stomach lurched. Only one of them turned at the sound of a shout from down the cliff, the voices blending together in the memory. Kravitz looked into his own eyes as he took that final step backwards.  
He couldn’t brace in time. He never could. But he was suddenly falling, back to the sea, air roaring in his ears, staring unblinking at the mottled grey sky. His stomach churned, like the waves below him, and an appropriate panic had holed up in his chest. He remembers that in this moment, he always figured he’d feel freed from it all. He was very wrong. 

A heavy gasp ripped from Kravitz’s mouth as he bolted upright. A cold sweat clung to his skin, and his whole body shook as if he was still falling. Taako, startled awake by the commotion, looked shocked for a moment, but gently placed a hand on his.  
Nothing was said, but an understanding passed between them. Taako wrapped his arms around Kravitz, pulling him as close as possible.  
“It’s alright, I’m here, you’re okay…” The former whispered tentatively, attempting to at least quell the panic. They stayed there until Krav was able to breathe without feeling like the wind was whipping his breath away.  
He finally pulled away from the elf and looked at him, at every inch of concern etched in his beautiful face. Kravitz chuckled apologetically, arms still linked around his boyfriend’s shoulders.  
“Babe…” Taako mused, bringing his hand to the former’s incredibly handsome face, wiping away tears the reaper didn’t even know were there.  
“I suppose… you want an explanation…” he croaked, smiling weakly, even though his throat felt like gravel.  
But Taako only shook his head. “You don’t need to tell me anything if you don’t want to. But if it’ll help-” he paused to lean in and press a chaste kiss to Krav’s lips. “I’m all ears.”

It took a long time, but entwined together there on the couch, Kravitz told his story. How he was one child of three, his older siblings always so much more ambitious and outgoing than him. How he’d been sick, and how it drove him to withdraw from from the world, into himself. He pushed his brother and sister away, who’d fought tooth and nail to keep him around.  
He told how it came to a point, that he didn’t... want… to be around. He struggled to tell him of the cliff, despite how easily the memory came. But he managed, carefully watching Taako’s face, searching for pity. He was shocked when he didn’t find it, only quiet empathy, perhaps even understanding. It eased the guilt, just a bit. Just enough to make it bearable.  
“In all the stories, they say a miracle will happen, a cloud of doves or an inspiring ray of sunlight from the gods to save the day. But… in reality… no… it ends with your body bashing against the tides and rocks below, your loved ones watching and waiting for low tide so they can… retrieve you… There’s no glamor in death. Something I’ve learned so many times over as a reaper for the Raven Queen.” Kravitz took a moment to breathe, to choose his words. “She took me in. Without a shred of pity in her eyes, she took me in, and told me I was to work for her. She could see I was without purpose, and so she gave me a reason. But no matter what she does, no matter the power she gives me, my position makes it so as long as her divinity is with me, I can’t forget my past. I’m haunted by it.”  
He breathes a heavy sigh. “Goodness, this must be a lot to take it.”  
Taako chuckles a little and holds him closer, muttering, “I’ve seen some crazy shit, homie, I have no trouble believin’ this”  
Kravitz chuckles too, and in that moment, both sad and fucked up, but together, everything was right in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this at 2 am, the only time to write gay angst fanfiction about death and a flamboyant elf wizard
> 
> Working title for this was "KRAVITZ IS A SAD DEAD BOY AND TAAKO IS CONFUSED ABOUT LIKE EVERYTHING"
> 
> AND YEAH WHEN I WROTE THIS IT HAD ALL THIS NICE FORMATTING BUT I GUESS ALL THOSE INDENTATIONS ARE TOO MUCH FOR AO3 TO HANDLE


End file.
